Episode #20 – The Power of Yes
Welcome to EarlToms podcast, I wanted to apologize for not being for not being here the last couple of weeks. But I’ve had a lot a lot of things going on. One thing is got a got a client that I’ve worked with for a couple of years that has decided that they want to do a 1031 for some houses. So in the last month, I’ve been frantically trying to find them about 50 houses, to be able to put in that 1031. So needless to say, the marketing had to be turned up, the hours in the day became shorter. We’re getting there. And another thing that I was having to manage during all of this was you never stopped bettering yourself, I made a promise to my mother some years ago that I would, I would eventually go back and finish college. That’s, I’ve been doing that for about the last year. And this semester is one of those one of those semesters where the professor’s decided to give a lot of busy work given the virus. So it’s it’s taken a lot of time to be able to manage both aspects of that, plus keep the normal side of the business going. But just remember that, that you should never really stop trying to better yourself. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go to college. But you know, there is a possibility that you can be successful in life without a college degree. To me personally, a college degree is nothing more than a piece of paper, it doesn’t determine my success or my failure. I’ve determined that. And I think I’m a lot like other people in this in this industry that your success is dependent on your work ethic, and whether or not you want to succeed the drive behind it. But with that, I’m gonna I’m gonna start this week’s episode. And one thing that I want to focus on this week that I’ve noticed, given everything that’s been going on the last month or so, has kind of amplified, something that’s been on my mind recently.
Whenever, whenever we’re interacting with people, there’s a, there’s always been a belief that in order to get an outcome that you want, you have to have a positive attitude, have never had anyone say that, you get something that you want by being negative all the time. Now, some would disagree because when you were younger, you might have thrown a temper tantrum and your parents just gave in to give you what you want. But that’s that’s not a good behavior. When you become adults and get in the business world and personal life, you know, as well. So there’s, there’s one, there’s one thing that’s always stuck in my mind, and they’ve they’ve written a book about it, you may want to go read it. But that’s completely up to you. The The, the way that you have the most influence on people is that you make friends first. If you do that, then the rest of it becomes easy. Because if you if you’re trying to influence someone, if you become friends first. Everything else after that is easier than having to undo the way that you acted in the beginning and not made the friend made the connection with that person. So it really goes back to that first impression type thing. So when you’re out there, and you’re in the business world and your personal world, it’s important that you make friends first. And I’m not necessarily saying in business you have to be friends with with everyone that you come in contact with. But a friendly manner about yourself will give you better results because it allows other people to reduce their guard and let you in so to speak faster and easier than you would if you just went about it. That you know I’ve given the example before to where I’ve gone behind people that have said okay, I’m only gonna offer you this because I have to make 25,000 per dealer at least or I don’t do it. One of my recent deals I was the fourth person that they came in contact with The lowest offer that they received was $45,000 on a house. But because of the way that I approached it, they had already told me before that that’s what you know they were going to sell it for. But when I when I was out there, during the appointment, I actually got the house under contract for 41,000. And got it sold for them. But while we were at the closing table, they realized they didn’t know it before, but they realized they had a 1500 dollar lien against the house. So they wound up just paying that at the closing table out of the proceeds, and didn’t even argue about it. So they didn’t make as much as they were going to I originally got the house for 4000 less than every other person that had come out there. Plus, they had to pay an additional 1500 at the closing table just to be able to sell the house. But they were happy to do it. It’s it’s all about the way that you approach these things. You always hear the sales people that say you’ve got to do this, and you got to do that you have to be aggressive. That’s dependent on the industry, when you’re dealing with this much money and a person’s livelihood, I’ve always found that the best approach is for that person to be relaxed, and for that person to trust you. One of the ways that I accomplish this is as I have a philosophy because it was from a book that I read years and years ago that just kind of stuck with me. And and it basically focus focuses on the power of Yes. And what that actually means is is the more you can get someone to say yes, when you’re talking to them, it may be the first time that you’ve talked to them, you may have known them for 10 years, but the more you can get that person to say yes and agree with you, the more likely you are to get the result that you want out of that interaction. So when you’re when you’re thinking in terms of how you’re going to approach every deal, whether it be a seller or a buyer, the more you can get them to say yes, the more likely you are that at the end, when the money is on the line, they’re gonna say yes as well. Now, that doesn’t mean that you can go get a house that’s $100,000, house under contract for 150 and get it sold. That’s not what that means. You have to know what you’re doing. First, your knowledge, skills and abilities, the K essays. So you need to actually read up on that. Because without the knowledge, skills and abilities of this industry, you’re going to be limited in your success. So the more you can add to those three things, the better you’re going to be. Now once you get those under control, and you get you become kind of the expert. With those knowledge, skills and abilities of wholesaling. That’s when you need to really fine tune your ability to get people to say yes, so one of the ways that I do this, I’ve done it on a previous episode where I went through and gave you my call sheet when I’m talking to a seller on the original phone call, and I’m finding information out about the property. I go through. And when I have a seller on the phone and I get the address, the very first thing I do is pull that up online, whether it be Zillow, prop stream realtor.com, one of the websites, courthouse records, I’m finding information about that house, so that I can interview them, so to speak about the house. So when I go on my call sheet, my interview sheet that asked I’m going down that line, and I’m saying this is a three bedroom, correct? Yes. This has two bathrooms, correct? Yes. This is 2000 square feet. Does that sound about right? Yes. Do you have a garage? That might be a yes or no question. So when you’re going through on these interview things, it’s better to keep the physical part of it to a yes or no. But the more you can ask them that leading question like you already know the answer to it and get those yeses from them, the better you’re going to wind up being because then you’re going to go down it’s a it’s a multi stage process when you’re trying to get a house under contract. So you’re going through that call she and your how many does it have three bedrooms? Yes. Okay. Well, then you get down to the the part of where you Need to Know the condition of the house any kind of repairs. And that’s, that’s where you get them to explain, you’ve already gotten them to give you all these yeses.
And one thing that a lot of people struggle with is getting people to open up to them about the house. But if you get them to continually say yes, that’s why they start opening up about the condition of the house. And they’re more likely to tell you more of the terms. Now every seller lies, but they’re like, they’re more likely to tell you more of the truth, then to keep something hidden from you, and wait until you get out to the property. So when they go when you go through that, and you get all these yeses, when you get down to the, to the information about what kind of condition what renovations would you do to the house, then they start telling you what it needs, those kind of things, they start going through a mentally that’s where they’re starting to open up, they felt you out a little bit going down through the the call sheet, the interview. And now they’re starting to open up to you a little bit. So you go through your next your next item, like I said before, always do the the asking price in the mortgage last because I want them to open up to me, I want them to have the yes answers going down that sheet, to give them the opportunity to build trust on me like I know what I’m talking about, then they get down to the condition part up to where they start opening up to me, they start trusting me even more. And then I go to the asking price in the mortgage. And a lot of times what I what I do with the mortgage is also I’ll give it one of two approaches. Because you can find how, you know you can estimate how much someone still owes on a mortgage. There’s plenty of programs out there. Most times I use something like a prop string. My market though prop stream is starting to struggle with the with the mortgages, be invisible. I don’t know what’s causing it. But most of these properties that I come across now, they’re saying there’s zero mortgage, when there is actually a mortgage. So it you have to you have to be very careful of how you approach it. But you just go through the first question I hit most times with the mortgages. Do you have a mortgage on the on the house? That’s another yes or no answer. So they say yes. Okay. Do you know about how much you owe? They give you the amount because they’ve already opened up to you. Then they say okay, well, what would you like to get for the house to sell it? They give you that price. So you’re sitting there right now looking at Zillow, realtor, prop stream, whatever it may be. And they give you an asking price of it right then and there. You should know if you’re on the same page of the seller. If you have your knowledge, skills and abilities, up to par, you should know if you’re in the ballpark, that will save you some time. You’re not running chasing deals that you have no no chance of getting them under contract for the right price. This goes back to being able to wholesale the right deals. So when you when you see that, you’re you’re thinking to yourself, okay, we’re in the ballpark? Well, the earliest could come out would be Thursday, for example. Is that will that work for you? Is there a time on Thursday that works best for you? They’ll either give you a time or they’ll say can we go Friday, Saturday, whatever it is, but that’s the only that’s the only besides the condition. That’s really the only time that you want to give them the ability to kind of control the conversation. So you’re set they say, Okay, well, we can come out Thursday at two o’clock. Great. I’ll see you then. And then I always tell them, you’ll see a white car pull up. That’ll be me. Always I tell them what I’m I mean, I don’t tell them the kind of car I’m coming in. Mainly because I drove an Audi. And I don’t want them to Oh, he’s got a lot of money. No, my car is seven years old, I think to 2013. So yes, it would be seven years old. I don’t want to give them the wrong impression before I even meet them. So I just tell them, I’ve got a white car. When you see a white car pull up, that’s gonna be me. When I get out there I go right back to that yes or no scenario. When you’re asking them in front, you know you wouldn’t you introduce yourself first. But you start you start back with the yes or no answers. You might walk into the kitchen and it might look like something has recently been renovated. And you say did you do this yourself? Most times they’re gonna say No, that’s okay. When was this done? 2016 Okay, great. This look the Outside look like it was recently painted. It was that’s the version of Yes, you go through the house and you’re you’re getting to say more yeses, then you are, you’re getting them to say nose. So when you get to the very end of it, where it becomes basically the brass tacks, let’s talk about what we’re going to be able to buy this house for your, you’ve taken them from phase one of the initial phone call where they did a lot of Yes, they opened up to you, they gave you as much truthful information as somebody is going to be comfortable with on an initial phone call, when you’re in front of them, is really when they’re going to make the read only. So what I always tell people, and this is I mean, it’s just the way it is. It’s an inherent bias that every person has. If you pull up in a car, or a truck, SUV, whatnot, that’s got dents in it, all these other kind of things. Think of what you’re thinking, in your own mind, when someone approaches you in that same manner, you’re going to think why haven’t you gotten that fixed? Did you not have insurance on it? Do you not have the money. So you’re out there right now, in a vehicle that it doesn’t have to be new. But it needs to be clean, it needs to not have dents in it, paint falling off. Those, you know, those kind of things. So when you’re when you’re going out there, it’s all about impression, when they know that you’re going to pull up in a white car. They see that car, they’re looking out that window, they’re looking out the door, because you’re supposed to be there at two o’clock. So they’re getting ready for you and they’re paying attention. They’re inside that house, looking out a window or a door waiting on you. There’s not a single person in this world that is not doing that. You do it when you’re about to get picked up. To go out on the weekend, whatnot, you’re doing the same thing. When you’re excited about something, you have that anticipation you’re waiting. So when you pull up in a vehicle that doesn’t match the sales presentation that you’re about to give, you’re going to likely lose that deal. Because your words do not match the action, so to speak. So it’s important, if like, say if you if you close a deal, and you’ve had you got into a car accident or something of that nature, take that money and go get that car fixed. Go get a carwash make sure that that car gives an impression that you actually have the money to be able to help that person out. Don’t show up in raggedy clothes, in a T shirt or anything like that. What I do every single time is I actually have shirts with the logo own my shirt, I got them off of a website called Martyrology that they’ll embroider your logo, whatever it may be. It’s just super simple. I think I paid like $30 apiece for each one of the certs. But you’re showing up in a professional manner. And you’re relaying the fact to this person, that you’re likely someone they can believe. So when when you’re in that house now the yes answers are going to be easier for them because now you’re at stage two of the opening up trusting me type scenario. Once you’re once you’re to once you’ve gone through that interview at the house the same way that you did on the call sheet, the the initial phone call you you’re sitting there now at the point in time where it gets to coming up with a price to purchase this house. Now you’ve got a couple of different scenarios that, you know, you may have already known what they won’t, and if it’s in line, don’t argue with them, just offer it. Because a lot of times the worst thing you can do when you sell something is keep talking. So if let’s say that you’re out at a house, and you’ve got $150,000 house, and they’re willing to sell it to you for 75,000. And they only need 20,000 worth of work, stop talking, give them $75,000 don’t keep I only I can only pay 65. Because when you get greedy is when you start losing things. When you’re at when you’re at this process. And and you notice the opposite scenario, that let’s say that they said you could have this house for 75,000. But you found out when you were out there that it was 50,000 in work, so that completely changes the scenario. So one thing that I do when I’m out there And it truthfully does work is I go through, and basically walk them through the scenario, real estate commissions, the fees, the closing costs that I’m going to wind up having to pay when I turn around and resell it, the amount of rehab, I have to back out of that number, when I get all of that said and done, the house will be worth this amount, I just lay it on the table for them. And I explain it to them in a way that they can understand. So when they are thinking to themselves, well, he’s not wrong, because I’ve probably had a roofing contractor out here that told me it was gonna call $7,000 to put in the roof on the house, they know in their own mind that they may have never actually added everything up. But they’ve had people out there over time That said, it’s gonna cost this or it’s gonna cost this to fix whatever it is. But when you add it up for him and put it in simple terms form, they typically understand it. That’s when you cook, because now what you’ve done is you’ve taken them from stage one, the power of Yes, you’ve taken them to stage two, the power of Yes, they’ve dropped their guard on you, they trust you. So when you tell them this information and in detail, and you’re being honest with them about it, they, they, they open up further, they trust you more, because it’s something they already knew. But you explain it to them in a kind way. Not a judgmental way. Once you’ve done that, what a lot of times your sellers can’t sell it for what’s actually needed. And I understand that. But when you’re dealing with someone that, say has an inherited house, they’ve got siblings, they’ve got to satisfy whatever it may be, if they have the ability to sell it for basically any price. That works great. Getting the price reduced, because then you say, Okay, well, you had $150,000 house, you wanted 75. But by the time I pay, basically $12,000 for every hundred thousand in real estate commissions and closing cost. And I’ll pay 50,000 to have this house renovated. That leaves me basically even or underwater, and I don’t get rich off of every property. But I have to make at least some money on everything to be able to keep the doors open. Because if I lost money on houses, I wouldn’t be able to stay in business. And they understand that. So when you’re when you’re thinking of how to approach that uncomfortable situation, you just tell them the truth, you let your guard down, so that they let their guard down. And but by you telling the truth, that is you letting your guard down. And then they’re letting their guard down, too. So you, you say to them, I can only pay 60,000, for the reasons I’ve just explained. That’s that’s only make you know, that’s that’s not making me a lot of money. But it gives me room in the event, I’ll put it on the market for 150. And someone comes in and says I’ll give you 140 because I’m not in the business of holding a house for a year waiting for that hundred and 50, I have to turn the money over to be able to keep the business going. So if they come in, and I have to take 144 I at least don’t take a loss, I might make a couple of thousand dollars. But I don’t take a loss. That’s what I have to look at. As far as my as far as my purchase goes. So they understand that and they say, Well, I can’t sell it for 60. I can sell it for 70. Then you pull out what I call is the question that pulls the rug from out from under him.
And you say, you know, I’ve explained where I’m coming from and I’d like to help you. But I want to ask you, what would you do if I was unable to buy this house from you. Because I have a contract in the car that we can sign and get the process started. And you can have money in your pocket in a couple of weeks when you pull the rug out from under them, but you essentially put money on the table for them, that changes it every single time it will change it. You may not get that deal that day. But that changes it. So when you’re if you don’t get the deal, put them in your funnel, to where you’re staying in touch with them every 1530 days. They’re gonna come back to you because they’re gonna they’re gonna remember how you treated them. How what’s your approach was with them. So they’re gonna remember you the way that what typically happens with this is when you say what’s going to happen if you don’t sell it to me, because I have a contract in the car that will help you out And get this house sold, so that we can put the money in the bank in a couple of weeks. Something in them triggers. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but something in them triggers. They’ve had this great and wonderful as I guess, in some ways, it’s almost like a relationship, you start a brand new relationship, everything’s good, no problems, and then all of a sudden, here’s your first fight, who’s gonna win, who’s gonna give in who’s gonna make peace, the compromise, I’ve got to say, I’m sorry, whether I was wrong or not, I’ve got to do it just to make the relationship continue. It’s almost like that. So when, when you’re when you’re in that scenario, and they’re, you know, what they’ve got what they’re asking for, but you know what you can pay, you have to almost pull that trust the good times out from under them, and make them realize, this may be my only shot of getting money. Because if if I have to keep doing this, that means I have to keep coming over to this house, or I have to keep letting people come in my house, tell me how bad it is, tell me that I can’t pay this. All these different things. And a lot of times they just look at and go, you know what I’m finished with this house. Because what most people don’t realize is is when a when a seller calls a wholesaler, for the most part, they’re done with the house, they have emotionally moved away from that house. All they won’t is the is the fidelity of it. So when when you pull that rug out, the finale, the trust that they built with you, the rapport they have with you has now been yanked out. But you offer the olive branch to say I’ve got a contract in the car. Once you do that, you will be surprised now you might not get the house for $60,000 like he wanted. But that 70 now changes, they may come down to 65. And that’s the deal for you. But it’s not the deal that you want. But it still allows you to have a deal and get a house sold. It’s a it’s a process that you have to go through mentally. And one Easy, easy, easy way to practice this is with the people in your lives, whether it be your husband, or your wife, your parents, friends, whoever it may be, you get them you start with your interactions, you start having these conversations with them to see how many times you can get them to say yes, a version of Yes, it doesn’t always have to be one word, yes. But a version of Yes. All you’re wanting them to do is agree with you. But you’re not argumentative when you do it. You’re just wanting them to agree with you by the way that you’re approaching it. So the more you practice this with the people in your life, once you start going out and meeting complete strangers over the phone and in person, it’s going to transfer because you’re you’re in a lot of ways, changing yourself, your personality, to be able to fit a model of being an influencer, that’s all you really want to do is influence the outcome. So when you’re talking to sellers and buyers, you’re trying to influence the outcome. That’s what you’re trying to do. Now you don’t lie. Now, I’m never going to tell you to lie. But if you can honestly influence the outcome just by your personality, then you will have a lot more success than what you’re currently having a very good example of this.
Adult can’t say yes, but a dog knows basically from the Pavlov experiment all those years ago, give a dog a treat, it’s going to give you the result that you want. If you tell that dog to sit, hey, if I see it, I get a treat. It’s the same principle except with words and actions. You have to have the ability to influence others and influence and by influencing others, you influence the outcome. So you get the results more often than not by your personality and your approach. Because what you’re what you’re hunting is yes, there is a legitimate power in the word. Yes. Someone agreeing with you. So husband’s, one of the hardest things that you’re ever going to come across in your life is to almost get your wife to say you’re right, or agree with you. We know this. It’s just the way life is not saying it’s wrong. But it’s just the way it is you don’t upset the wife. So when you go through Now, think of how you can change your personality to get your wife more agreeable. Women, wives, you’re sitting there thinking to yourself, how can I get my husband to go cut the grass? How can I get him to build me a shelf? or anything else? How can I get my husband to cook me dinner at night? It’s the power of Yes, the way you approach it. Start practicing it with the people in your life that are closest to you. And don’t be surprised if a month or two from now, those people that you’ve been practicing with, don’t come up to you and say, you know, you’ve changed. I enjoy being around you a lot more. I’m not that I didn’t enjoy being around you. But I enjoyed being around you a lot more than I did you empower the other person?
By the ability for them to say yes. Always make sure that your conversations in life and in business, you’re focusing on getting that person to say yes, and when someone does it to you, be very willing to say yes, right back to be as open to them as you want them to be to you. So when you’re when you’re in these, and when you’re in these situations, personal life and professional, always make friends first when you’re trying to influence people, because when you make friends first, you’re you have the ability to influence that person and influence that outcome. Because by making friends First, the principal anyway, people are more likely to say yes, and want to be around you, in your personal life and want to work with you in your professional life. It’s a very, very, very simple process, you just have to retrain the way that you’re thinking about how you approach scenarios, how you approach people, because the more that you can get them to say yes and agree with you, the better your results are going to be in your personal life and in your professional life. So make sure you’re paying attention to that first couple of times that you try, you may crash and burn. It’s, it’s it’s, it’s a habit that has to be trained. So don’t beat yourself up about it. Just keep practicing. Just keep practicing. And you’ll eventually find your groove of how you can approach personal life and professional life to where you get the outcomes that you that you want. That doesn’t hurt the person that’s agreeing with you. It just gives you more influence over that person in your life or in your professional life without actually manipulating them. Because you’ve told them the truth. But the the truth that that you told them got you a better result than the way that you previously did it. Simply because of your approach and your attitude.
I hope you’ve learned something from this. Just remember the two things, the power of Yes. In order to influence people, you have to make friends first, they’ve written books about this. For decades, I think the I think the author of the book, Ola, Ola, make friends first. I think his last name is Carnegie. I’m not sure it’s been so long since I’ve since I read it but get on Google get on Amazon, if you’re a book reader, if you’re an audible if you if you like listening to books, instead of actually reading them, listen to them. And and and see how they how they say to approach it because they’re going to be able to explain it a lot better than I did. But your goal is to be able to get people to agree with you. Whether that’s a simple one word answer, yes. or giving you an explanation that still agrees with you. You your approach and your attitude is what determines whether or not that person is going to give you the power of their Yes, because that’s really what it is they own that. Yes. You’re just trying to get it from them the same way you’re trying to get that house. So when you’re truthful with them, you treat them kindly. The power of their yes will make you feel better than just going in and saying I’ve got to make $25,000 on a house. That’s not how you treat people. So make sure you’re paying attention now to the to the power of Yes, the ability to influence others for the outcome that you want. I’m going to draw it two o’clock. Now so I will see you again in a couple of weeks. If you want to learn more about the business aspects of of wholesaling, you can go over to EarlToms.com. There’s plenty of things all of the podcasts are on the website. You have information that will help your business structure and other things that some helpful hit tips and things like that, that that you probably haven’t thought about. But again, that’s, that’s EarlToms.com. We will see you again and a couple of weeks. Thanks for listening.